Lost Trees

The phone rang. She answered it.

He said: “So where was the torture tree?”

She said: “I thought you weren’t checking the blogs any more from work?”

He said: “It was lunch time, so sue me. Where is the torture tree?”

She said:”It is near that Indian place on campus where you like to eat.”

He said: “I’m coming up on the quad now.” Thirty seconds of silence. “Okay, I am at the Indian place. Where’s this tree?”

She said: “Turn around. It should be right there. “

He said: “Turn around which way?”

She grumbled, “I don’t know which way is which on campus. There’s a building and a white fence.”

He said, “White fence? I don’t see any white fence!”

She said: “You know, this could take awhile. I don’t want to keep you from work.”

He said: “I have a few minutes and people are asking.” Pause. “So, it’s not here. Which way do I go?”

She said: “It is near your building. I pretty much walked a wide circle around Bilger Hall.”

He said: “That helps. Here’s the Barringtonia tree. Now where?”

She said: “The tortured tree is somewhere between the Barringtonia and Campus Center.”

He said: “Okay.” She could hear his foot steps on the pavement.

She asked: “Hon, are you near the art building?”

He said: “I was. I can go back.”

She said: “Okay. I took pictures of the huge Baobab Tree near the art building.”

“Once you find it, around the corner to your right is the Orchid tree you tried to tell me was a tulip tree. Then the real tulip tree. And somewhere between there and Campus Center is a shack (portable) and the tortured tree.”

He said: “I can’t even find the Baobab Tree.”

She said: “Are you between Bilger and the Art building?”

He said: “Yes.”

She sighed: “You’re on the wrong side of the art building.”

He said: “Well, I was on the other side. I must have walked right past it.”

She said: “You need to go back to work. Thank you. I love you for trying.”

He said: “Well, I wanted to try because I love you, but I do have to get back to work.”

She hung up the phone thinking how lucky she is and what a special man he is. Then she called the optometrist and made an appointment to have his eyes checked. Meanwhile, he was busy in his office enrolling her in a geography class and a memory enhancement course.

The University of Hawaii at Manoa

I went to the UH campus at Manoa as a tourist, so I can only tell you what I saw:

If chestnuts ....

Cultural Diversity: the campus is a mixing place. I saw a full palette of skin tones and heard a wide range of accents. In fact, I understand that the variety of language classes available on this campus exceeds all other public U.S. educational campuses. In addition, student apparel had more variety then most major department stores, and hair seemed to come in more colors then one finds in a crayon box.

. . . grow on Chestnut trees;

Architecture: like most campuses that have been around for awhile (UH@Manoa was founded in 1907) the buildings are a mix of old and new, but that is not the only difference in style. As is befitting such a diverse campus, the architecture of the buildings, plazas, gardens and statuary reflects the many cultures that converge here.

And olives . . .

Flora: there are no words that can describe the wonderful trees and plants growing on the Manoa campus. I ate a tangerine warm from the sun picked from a campus tree. I saw plants (including the Bird of Paradise above) with as great a diversity of nationality and color as the students. The heady fragrance of all the different blossoms had me running from one plant to another to sniff.

. . . grow on Olive Trees;

Fauna: birds and cats co-exist on the campus. Most of the birds are tame. Most of the cats are not. (The links provide eloquent descriptions of each.)

Then what grows on Money Trees?

Parking: there is none. Security guards man the entrances. They will be happy to sell you a $3.00 pass to the guest parking lot, but as a friend told me, "It is only a license to hunt, not the guarantee of a parking place." On the plus side, if you give up searching for a parking place in less then 15 minutes and leave the campus, they will give you your money back. However, if you should park even half-an-inch from a designated guest parking place, you will receive a $15.00 ticket. Btw, the guest parking lot will hold maybe 50 cars and it is FULL from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Ha! You wish! Not even in paradise.